by Mike Myatt
Here’s the thing - leadership and conflict go
hand-in-hand. Leadership is a full-contact sport, and if you cannot or will not
address conflict in a healthy, productive fashion, you should not be in a leadership
role. From my perspective, the issues surrounding conflict resolution can be
best summed-up by adhering to the following ethos; ”Don’t fear conflict;
embrace it – it’s your job.” While you can try and avoid conflict (bad idea),
you cannot escape conflict. The fact of the matter is conflict in the workplace
is unavoidable. It will find you whether you look for it (good idea – more
later) or not. The ability to recognize conflict, understand the nature of
conflict, and to be able to bring swift and just resolution to conflict will
serve you well as a leader – the inability to do so may well be your downfall.
How many times over the years have you witnessed
otherwise savvy professionals self-destruct because they wouldn’t engage out of
a fear of conflict? Putting one’s head in the sand and hoping that conflict
will pass you by is not the most effective methodology for problem solving.
Conflict rarely resolves itself – in fact, conflict normally escalates if not
dealt with proactively and properly. It is not at all uncommon to see what
might have been a non-event manifest itself into a monumental problem if not
resolved early on.
One of my favorite examples of what I described in
the paragraph above is the weak leader who cannot deal with subordinates who
use emotional deceit as a weapon of destruction. Every workplace is plagued with manipulative
people who use emotion to create conflict in order to cover-up for their lack
of substance.
These are the drama queens/kings that when confronted about
wrongdoing and/or lack of performance are quick to point the finger in another
direction. They are adept at using emotional tirades which often include
crocodile tears, blameshifting, little lies, half truths and other trite
manipulations to get away with total lack of substance. The only thing worse
than what I’ve just described is leadership that doesn’t recognize it and/or
does nothing about it. Real leaders don’t play favorites, don’t get involved in
drama, and they certainly don’t tolerate manipulative, self-serving behavior.
Developing effective conflict resolution skill sets
are an essential component of a building a sustainable business model.
Unresolved conflict often results in loss of productivity, the stifling of
creativity, and the creation of barriers to cooperation and collaboration.
Perhaps most importantly for leaders, good conflict resolution ability equals
good employee retention. Leaders who don’t deal with conflict will eventually
watch their good talent walk out the door in search of a healthier and safer
work environment.
While conflict is a normal part of any social and
organizational setting, the challenge of conflict lies in how one chooses to
deal with it. Concealed, avoided or otherwise ignored, conflict will likely
fester only to grow into resentment, create withdrawal or cause factional
infighting within an organization.
So, what creates conflict in the workplace? Opposing
positions, competitive tensions, power struggles, ego, pride, jealousy,
performance discrepancies, compensation issues, just someone having a bad day,
etc. While the answer to the previous question would appear to lead to the
conclusion that just about anything and everything creates conflict, the
reality is that the root of most conflict is either born out of poor communication
or the inability to control one’s emotions. Let’s examine these 2 major causes
of conflict:
Communication: If you reflect back upon conflicts
you have encountered over the years, you’ll quickly recognize many of them
resulted from a lack of information, poor information, no information, or
misinformation. Let’s assume for a moment that you were lucky enough to have
received good information, but didn’t know what to do with it…That is still a
communication problem, which in turn can lead to conflict. Clear, concise,
accurate, and timely communication of information will help to ease both the
number and severity of conflicts.
Emotions: Another common mistake made in workplace
communications which leads to conflict is letting emotions drive decisions. I
have witnessed otherwise savvy executives place the need for emotional
superiority ahead of achieving their mission (not that they always understood
this at the time). Case in point – have you ever witnessed an employee throw a
fit of rage and draw the regrettable line in the sand in the heat of the
moment? If you have, what you really watched was a person indulging their
emotions rather than protecting their future.
The very bane of human existence, which is in fact
human nature itself, will always create gaps in thinking & philosophy, and no matter how much we all wish it wasn’t
so…it is. So the question then becomes how to effectively deal with conflict
when it arises. It is essential for organizational health and performance that
conflict be accepted and addressed through effective conflict resolution
processes. While having a conflict resolution structure is important, effective
utilization of conflict resolution processes is ultimately dependant upon the
ability of all parties to understand the benefits of conflict resolution, and
perhaps more importantly, their desire to resolve the matter. The following
tips will help to more effective handle conflicts in the workplace:
1.
Define Acceptable Behavior: You know what they say about
assuming…Just having a definition for what constitutes acceptable behavior is a
positive step in avoiding conflict. Creating a framework for decisioning, using
a published delegation of authority statement, encouraging sound business
practices in collaboration, team building, leadership development, and talent
management will all help avoid conflicts. Having clearly defined job
descriptions so that people know what’s expected of them, and a well
articulated chain of command to allow for effective communication will also help
avoid conflicts. Clearly and publicly make it known what will and won’t be
tolerated.
2.
Hit Conflict Head-on: While you can’t always prevent
conflicts, it has been my experience that the secret to conflict resolution is
in fact conflict prevention where possible. By actually seeking out areas of
potential conflict and proactively intervening in a just and decisive fashion
you will likely prevent certain conflicts from ever arising. If a conflict does
flair up, you will likely minimize its severity by dealing with it quickly.
Time spent identifying and understanding natural tensions will help to avoid
unnecessary conflict.
3.
Understanding the WIIFM Factor: Understanding the
other professionals WIIFM (What’s In It For Me) position is critical. It is
absolutely essential to understand other’s motivations prior to weighing in.
The way to avoid conflict is to help those around you achieve their objectives.
If you approach conflict from the perspective of taking the action that will
help others best achieve their goals you will find few obstacles will stand in
your way with regard to resolving conflict.
4.
The Importance Factor: Pick your battles and avoid
conflict for the sake of conflict. However if the issue is important enough to
create a conflict then it is surely important enough to resolve. If the issue,
circumstance, or situation is important enough, and there is enough at stake,
people will do what is necessary to open lines of communication and close
positional and/or philosophical gaps.
5.
View Conflict as Opportunity: Hidden within
virtually every conflict is the potential for a tremendous teaching/learning
opportunity. Where there is disagreement there is an inherent potential for
growth and development. If you’re a CEO who doesn’t leverage conflict for team
building and leadership development purposes you’re missing a great
opportunity. Divergent positions addressed properly can stimulate innovation
and learning in ways like minds can’t even imagine. Smart leaders look for the
upside in all differing opinions.
Bottom line…I believe resolution can normally be
found with conflicts where there is a sincere desire to do so. Turning the
other cheek, compromise, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, finding common
ground, being an active listener, service above self, and numerous other
approaches will always allow one to be successful in building rapport if the
underlying desire is strong enough. However, when all else fails and positional
gaps cannot be closed, resolve the issue not by playing favorites, but by doing
the right thing.
Mike is a leadership advisor to
Fortune 500 CEOs and Boards, author of "Hacking Leadership" (Wiley)
and "Leadership Matters" (2007), the Chairman at N2Growth, a member
of the board of directors at the Gordian Institute and recognized by Thinkers50
as one of the top leadership thinkers globally. I am also a syndicated
columnist and contributing editor on topics of leadership, innovation and
problem solving. I have been married for nearly 30 years and am a proud father
and grandfather.
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